Appreciating Cracks

There is a crack in everything.
That’s how the light gets in.
~Leonard Cohen

Yes, there has to be a crack for light to enter. This is one of my favourite quotes. Though I had read this quote long back I grasped it much later.

It was during a difficult phase in life; I understood this quote. There were challenges and obstacles in every sphere of my life. I went for long walks in the evening with my small daughter. Those walks helped us to smile.

On a particularly difficult day, we decided to take a new path. It would be a long way back home, but somehow it felt right. This was not a familiar route.

We passed few landmarks and suddenly stopped. There stood a lovely house all in ruins. It had been an elegant structure. Though unoccupied, for years, it had been maintained well.

My daughter approached the guard to find out. The house had been burnt in a fire accident. By the time help arrived it was late. Thankfully, there was no one inside. We asked the guard’s permission to go inside to look at the once beautiful garden.

The path was covered with charred pieces of wood, bricks and heaps of ash. I looked around strangely captivated by the havoc. My daughter had many questions. However, the futility of those questions made me sadder.

I sat on a flat stone while my daughter explored the gardens. Devoid of colour the landscape looked bleak. Grey, black and strange white were the only hues.

My eyes scanned thoroughly and I noticed something. Pulled by a strange force I ran towards it.

Yes, there was a crack for light to enter.

On the corner of an ash heap was a tiny leaf dancing on a thin stem. We knelt to observe.
Life hoped to live.

Tiny

Tiny After two Weeks

How interesting, to see some seed taking root in this barren place. How did a seed land and embedded itself? How did it sustain? There were no obvious answers, and yet I had found answers to my questions.

Yes, Life goes on to bloom in any circumstances. Somehow even my daughter understood this truth.
Perfection binds you, imperfection provides hope.

Cracks are required for letting the light pass. In periods of transition cracks are bound to appear. Transformation goes through disintegration. We just need to cherish hope in our hearts
Our journey back home was different. I felt optimistic and capable of facing the challenges ahead. That tiny seed transformed  my thoughts.

“Mama let’s come every day to meet ‘tiny’.”

My daughter suggested. And we came for about a month until the day we relocated to another place. By that time ‘Tiny’ had become a small plant.

Today that plant is a metaphor we refer when things are difficult. Remember ‘Tiny’ is all we have to say to smile and sing.
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Dear Daughter

Birds

Dear Daughter,

It is strange to observe how time flies! It seemed just like that yesterday you came into our life as a helpless sweet little bundle. However, eleven years have walked through the curtain of time, and I can hardly believe. This year as you celebrate your eleventh birthday, I decided to write this letter. We can read it together when you turn twenty one!

I have tried to record many enchanting moments through all these years. Whenever I visit my blog, I notice this drawing that adorns the blog. You were two years when you created this. I smile as it transports me to those beautiful days when you danced as shimmering light of dawn and slept like an angel (though only for few minutes).
Today you stand tall, confident, happy and enthusiastic. Your girlhood and adolescence seem to compete with each other. As I watch you grow up, I feel proud and scared at the same time. Dear daughter, the world today is evil and the mother in me constantly worries about your safety.

Your energy sometimes frustrates me dear daughter; I want you to calm down. Slow your pace to experience life, see the grace around you and feel it. Rushing through our days and through life has become our mantra. We hardly have any time to ‘live’ life in the real sense.

Nest

The Nest

Remember when we created our nature journal last year we discovered such lovely things near us. We found that tiny nest on the top of the park just next to our terrace and small babies waiting for their mother to come. We observed a woodpecker visiting that leafless tree. Remember how we used to wait for the bird (our Woody) to visit. However, that tree was cut down, and we lost our Woody forever. Yes, life changes and we need to accept the change as only change is constant. These moments, would become an anchor later in life when you feel lonely. So try to notice these little things, experience the exquisite as you walk through life. Though happiness cannot be taught, it’s an art that needs to be practiced. Try to notice the perfect ‘imperfections’ of apparently mundane days where life dwells and joy resides.

I am not asking you to become slow. You should run at times to feel the air in your face and jump and shout, but not all the time. Dance in the rain let the droplets soak you. Nature is very healing and rainy afternoons and paper boats are so enjoyable. Dear daughter, let life unfold like a flower one day at a time.

Believe in yourself while taking your decisions. Don’t be afraid to follow your passions that one-day would lead to your dreams. Let people say anything don’t look for acceptance from the world, but accept yourself as you are. See your own beauty and don’t compare. Beauty is the way to speak with compassion, with respect, with concern. Beautiful means to have the ability to make another feel warm at heart in your presence, beauty is those stars in your eyes. You have extremely expressive eyes, look after them lovingly.

When I scold you for eating too many chocolates sweets and junk food, you are frustrated. However, it is for your health. The mother in me wants the best for you. Treasure your health dear nothing else will ever matter.
And yes about those hurts, yes you will face some bitter, harsh truths; sometimes people will be mean and rude. Life will look very unfair, but my dear accept it with all humility and surrender as grass does in the midst of a storm. It’s alright to cry sometimes and fearlessly, give way to tears; you will feel healed after a good cry.

Lastly I have not been able to spend much time with you as much as I want to due to other responsibilities, but let’s make a pact; we will try to catch more time together on weekends when we cook, create, read or just lie in the bed and listen to the night sounds.

Lovingly

Maa